Grumpy Old Man

I've been thinking (and that's never good). At what point did I change? I used to be a fairly careless, laid-back, artsy, adapt-to-whatever-life-throws-at-me, likable kind of person. I am now a wallowing-in-how-rubbish-the-government-is, stressed, negative, no-fun-to-hang-around, worrying-about-money, always-looking-at-the-clock type of person. I don't really like myself anymore, I am not the kind of person I would choose to spend time with and I am just tired of myself and my own company. That's not good, is it? When did that change happen? Gradually, I think.

I started thinking about this when I was watching Rockstar:Supernova and admiring Tommy Lee for his childlike manner. The man has remained a teenager throughout his whole life ... why else would you stand up and applaud everytime somebody mentions, 'getting laid'? I'm not saying that I would like to be a teenager again ... in fact that would be a nightmare! I'd like to have the same attitude towards life I had in my late twenties whilst being aware of the things I have learned since. It's my own fault that I've become such an old fart ... but I wonder how much of the negative feelings that surround mine and my loved ones life at the moment come from outside factors and how much of it comes from within? I don't know ...